There’s something strange going on tonight.

There’s something going on that’s not quite right…

Weird. It’s a feeling that the boot is about to drop. Imminent… imminent something. I feel like smoking. How long has it been? Twelve months? Twelve minutes? It’s a fresh craving, like having never stopped. Where does that come from? Some remote corner of the brain where such things are catalogued and warehoused, for sure. Addiction doesn’t really go away. There isn’t a cure. You just put it away and hope better instincts take over.

So what’s this then? A desire for self-soothing? A drive to self-destruction? Many people don’t want to believe that these things can co-exist quite comfortably. Nobody really wants to believe that the two are very closely related. Opposite sides of the same “anything but this” coin.

Something is about to come down though. I can feel the tremors through the soles of my feet. The sensation is rarely wrong.

Steady on. Take it as it comes.