So, here’s the deal. It’s not that it’s getting any less complicated, but that actually kind of makes shit less complicated. Manage your expectations. Expect weird and you won’t lose it when weird happens. Getting along is just complicated. The interwebz is the final nail in the coffin for those of us who grew up learning to read folks through intonation and facial expressions. I never know what the fuck is going on so if I were one who is prone to self doubt, which I’m not so much anymore, I’d be proper fucked. It’s not that I have any answers. I haven’t figured anything out. It’s just that I’ve nearly run out of fucks to give. Hence, life is less complicated.

My tolerance for bullshit, especially my own, has pretty much run out too. You’d think that would mess life up further but no; Ive just learned to move along faster.

Last night I thought I had some pearl of wisdom to pass on. Not my own, though I’m known to toss those about also, to the willing and not so willing. I’d spent about a week listening to these podcasts by some leading authority on narcissism. I got it into my head that knowing the difference between narcissists, sociopaths and psychopaths was vital to my now much shorter future, and if all that noise fascinated me, surely there was someone else whose life would be enriched by the knowledge.

The response was a little harsh though, or seemed so coming back over a text message, and that’s why I fucking hate texts. You just never know. It was simply “what the fuck is this???” Of course my bullshit meter already being redlined I told her not to ne a dick and she responded to eat a big, black dick.

Really.

Are we still friends? I suppose so. She sent me a meme about three hours later and by my best understanding of the interwebz, everything is copacetic. Our relationship is weird anyway. We got close because I thought she had a cute rear end and after a lot of poke and tickle she let me touch it. Then she didn’t anymore and we had to redefine how we get along. A shit ton of that is still up in the air and still being sorted out some seven or eight years later.

It’s complicated.

But that’s where we started. It’s all fucking complicated and when you get used to it you learn to get along.

Mostly.

And that’s the emotional weather report. Call it a lifehack. Shake off whatever hits you and keep it moving. You got this.

Selah

Appendix: consider this lead if you think your life is too complicated (I retract the term lifehack).

“Billionaire diamond trader Ehud Arye Laniad’s pursuit of a plentiful penis has ended in his death.”

That’s the first thing to learn. The whole idea that you can never have too much money or too big a dick is just stupid. Hell, if you have a shit ton of money, who is going to tell you your dick isn’t enough. Sad, but true.