You don’t find me attractive?

On the contrary, I find you very attractive.

So why won’t you go out with me?

I’m not really interested in dating.

Well if you were, would you date me?

No, I wouldn’t.

Why not?

Does it matter?

Yes.

I don’t think it does.

It does! I’d like to know why. Is there something wrong with me?

Do you really want to go there?

Yes! Tell me!

Okay, because I find you selfish, self-centered and immature.

WHAT?

You are. We wouldn’t be having this conversation if you weren’t. Why put someone on the spot like this? You think you’re entitled to an explanation and you’re not. That’s just one red flag in a whole fucking field of red flags.

Okay, what else?

You’re kidding, right? Okay. You keep a collection of exes like a charm bracelet and every time you need some kind of validation you call one to have them boost you up and say nice things about you.

Oh, you’re jealous!

No, I’m not jealous. I just care about myself too much to be a part of that.

Fuck you!

Yah, fuck me.

(Sometimes keeping it real means keeping it real funky. Just the way it is. It does no one any favors to pull punches or flatter for the sake of flattery.)

So why are we friends?

Expectations are different with friends. It’s not the same investment.

Oh… fuck you.

Yah, fuck me.

You’re an asshole. I don’t even know why I bother.

I don’t know why you need me to like you in that way. I have some ideas.

No. Shut up!

(Maybe this is the level of honesty we all really need to get along properly. It puts things in a complete perspective. We know where we stand. Where, why, how, because, etc. This was absolutely not a conversation I wanted to have, but it’s done, and I believe it clears a straight path forward.)