The word came in yesterday that the old man’s days are numbered. The doctors already said it would be this year but now is the sooner rather than later scenario. It was time to go down and be there for the final hours. She took off this morning for Florida.

Florida…

People go down there from all over to grow old and be old. People retire there. Nobody speaks so openly of going to Florida to die but that’s what they’re doing. They’re going down there to spend their final days. There is a reason it’s called God’s Waiting Room. Not that you’ll buy any time by staying where you are, but I have to imagine that there are a lot more people dying down there.

Whatever.

I saw her off in the wee hours and headed home to wait. So many questions though. I’ve gone to see people on their death beds and wanted to ask, but I simply never had the courage. Would it be insensitive to just come out and ask them?

What are you feeling now?

Fuck you! I feel like shit. I’m dying.

I would like to, when it’s my time or nearing my time, to record as much as possible so that there is something to pass along to those remaining. Something like this.

There are no misconceptions or false notions though. It will be much like every other day for me except the experiences will be more fresh. You only get to write about your own demise as it’s actually happening the one time, or perhaps two when you’re lucky enough to dodge a bullet (literally or figuratively). It will very likely be the same delusional and/or very biased ramblings that have always tumbled out of my head and down the tips of my fingers, no closer to the truth at the end than at the beginning. No definitive answers, ya know?

So what do we know? I thank Keanu Reeves for this, because it really is the only certainty.

Asked by Stephen Colbert what he believes happens when we die: I know that the ones who love us will miss us.

Yup.

And I’m sending as much positive energy southwards as I can muster, kiddo. You are strong, but you may be the only strong one in the room so you might need more.