One of the more strange VAPORWAVE mixes that Youtube has served up so far. It breathes irony in the way that the air conditioner at a suburban mall would fill the air with dry, inorganic cool. Never quite reaching cool, but lightly chilled. This mix is totally at odds with the steamroom heat and dank rot of the weather outside here right now.

It seems quite in line with the dry sarcasm with which I’ve been peppering some of my more recent posts on social media. Still feeling salty about some things perhaps, and the weather has me in a bit of a mood. It will pass if I let it. It’s not even worth getting into at the moment. It will all come out eventually. It will be revealed as necessity dictates. Holding things inside never works so there has to be a valve to bring down the pressure.

I learned a new word last night: FOMO

Fear of missing out… It’s something I probably would have denied and summarily dismissed without giving it much thought. Having considered it though, it’s definitely there and that’s part of the salty tone and sarcasm. It would be too easy to write off as a byproduct of COVID-19 and the lockdown, but why take the easy route? The world is locked down at the moment and we’re all missing out on something or another, but no. My FOMO is more specific to circumstances and lifestyle choices that have little to do with the externals. I’m experiencing this low-key bullshit feeling that I’ve painted myself into a corner by myself and other people are actually having fun.

Woe is me. The only thing to do is adjust the balance and withdraw from my semi-isolation a bit, or at least as much as the pandemic allows. I guess the word is probably closer to lonely. I do get lonely, if less so than many others. It does happen, and it probably doesn’t help to soundtrack it with some of these mixes. I’ll stop short of saying that I’m purposely looking for music to suit the mood, or that the music creates the mood.

That’s my morning meditation actually, this FOMO. It was a regular affliction back in the day. It was impossible to stay at home and just be. I would have thought that the lockdown had cured me of any vestiges of that, but it may have actually brought it back some. Something to consider. But let’s get back to the music. The track titles gave me a chuckle:

• 01. Intrance (Realities)
• 02. Aisle 1 (Earth Tones, Rectangles and Fake Plants)
• 03. Aisle 2 (Parallel Lines, Oscillating Fans, and Public-Access Broadcasting)
• 04. Aisle 3 (Summits, Clouds, and Greener Grass)
• 05. Aisle 4 (Hairstyles, Power-Ups, and Magnetic Tape)
• 06. Aisle 5 (Moonlight, Urban Skylines, and Rapid Eye Movement)
• 07. Interlude (Lost in the Freezer Section)
• 08. Aisle 6 (Memories, Regrets, and Wishes)
• 09. Aisle 7 (Sailboats, Forecasts, and Room Keys)
• 10. Aisle 8 (Drink Specials, Warm Evenings, and Rooftop Views)
• 11. Aisle 9 (Palm Leaves, Breezes, and Sunset Gradients)
• 12. Checkout (Have a Nice Day)
• 13. Bronze-Level Store Loyalty Card

Irony… yup. There you have it.