Deeper back down the shoegaze/dreampop rabbit hole with… well let’s just stuck with DOTS because typing out the correct number of dots is labor intensive. This isn’t a write-up. It’s not a review. It’s just me sharing what’s playing here for the last 24 hours. The vocals might take some getting used to for western ears, sort of a teen pop thing, schoolgirls gone bad blah blah, but most of us listen to music by people with less than traditionally good voices. I have to confess that even ten years ago I may have dismissed this album for that alone. Now? Well, now it’s been on repeat since the afternoon yesterday. That’s all that really needs to be said.

I’m still mulling over HOMUNCULUS, the film I watched over the last couple days. I haven’t watched it again. Not yet. The question did resonate though. What if we could tap more deeply into the part of ourselves that could see the trauma and pain that shapes (or misshapes) the people around us? Most everyone is capable of some degree of empathy and the ability to see beneath the surface. Some are definitely more capable than others. How much more deeply do we really want to see though? That questions does come up in the movie. And how much of what we see can we be certain is real and not a projection of our own homunculus onto them? It’s a curious conundrum. How much of the truth do we want to reveal? How much do we want to see in others?

How much do we want to see of ourselves and how much can we handle? The old saw is that the truth shall set you free but I’m not ready to accept that this is true in every circumstance. Maybe some things are better left forgotten. These are real world riddles/discussions. I read recently that the psychoanalysis thing got so big at one point in the 20th Century that “therapists” were running off half-cocked getting people in touch with their inner truths with no real skill or tactic or plan to help those people deal with it. At that point academic authorities stepped in to regulate the practice because people were jumping off roofs and such. Of course the 20th Century was difficult enough because of any number of world events. Everywhere everything was in Revolution. Narratives were being challenged and collapsing left and right. Urbanization and industrialization were evolving faster than people, I believe. anyway.

So… I guess some traumas are easier to let go of than others. Maybe the personal ones are the easiest of all, because if we’re talking about these greater traumas of adjusting our monkey minds to living in the future, well… we’re stuck in the future, aren’t we? We’re stuck exactly where we are, in many circumstances that can’t be changed, despite what the New Agey memes say.

I’m recalling a time some years back when it seemed my entire waking life was mired in reflection, psychoanalysis, 12 steps work etc. There seemed to be no respite from my own history and my ability to cope with the present, which involved enough turmoil, was about to be compromised. I was utterly exhausted and everyone kept telling me to not let up. It was just too much all at once and it was the only point in my life when there was no joy at all. Everything was about emotional labor and dredging up history. The cure was more toxic than the sickness.

Anyway, they do hint at that in Homunculus but there was no time to go into that in any depth.

I guess the moral of the movie is that you don’t necessarily have to break open your skull to get at the problem.

Anyway…