There was a time, and no time in my life seems that long ago whether minutes or decades ago, when dreamcore would have been given an immediate pass. The dismissal would have most likely been accompanied by a condemnation: THIS ISN’T MUSIC.
Or something of the sort.
Things have opened up from whenever that time may or may not have been. Things change. People change. I’ve changed. I’m more at peace with my feelings. All my feelings, really. Even those less warm and cozy than the others. I’ve developed a platonic relationship with most of my inner demons. There are some still that aren’t welcome at any time of day or night. Most though get at least a resigned oh hello you again wave. With some it’s even congenial.
The point is that my sense of self was so fragile that I couldn’t even sit with myself if music were playing that didn’t fit into my platonic conception of myself. I couldn’t be seen, even in the mirror, outside of character. Surely that would have led to a nearly immediate collapse, and then every fucking body would see me. They would see me. Oh they would see me.
I might even be forced to see me.
What is this music then? I don’t even fucking know but it takes me someplace. It’s not necessarily an easy place to be but I’m there and it’s not going to kill me. Since I’m there I might as well take the chance to explore.
Does any of this make sense to you? I’m not going out of my way to be obtuse. I’m really just saying that life is going to throw you curveballs. You’re going to find yourself in situations that you can’t get close to explaining. They may or may not be dangerous but that’s true of your familiar spots and comfort zones too. Just exhale and relax and… and be. You may never be in that place again so you may want to take stock of things so you’ll remember.
Tracklist: 0:00 – instupendo – six forty seven 2:00 – nowhere – flood 6:56 – one season 2 – glottace 8:48 – poison tree – grouper instrumental 12:25 – quiet resource 15:52 – severe acrophobia 21:26 – snow world – yume nikki ost 22:28 – snuffy one original soundtrack 24:01 – the caretaker – all you are going to want to do is get back there 27:48 – thom yorke – dawn chorus instrumental slowed reverb 33:17 – transgender – crystal castles 36:13 – underwater exploration – godmode