Not quite, but let’s talk.

About 20 miles fast-walking or running. Add three free-weight workouts with calisthenics. Top it off with a few hours on the beach and another session of weights.

Where does that leave us?

Well, the beach was okay. The fear was that the ghost images would resurface and turn it into a paranoid horrorshow. No such thing. Not this time anyway. And now since it’s a three day holiday weekend there is one more day to get my shit together, or watch it unravel into ugliness again. Fingers crossed on it. I’ve got the formula down anyway.

This was a scary episode. The headaches are just part of the regular now. The periodic depressions are like old friends. The anxiety is rare and pretty low-key. We all almost work together now.

I wasn’t counting on something coming along and rattling the cage. It goes to show though that the Crocodiles are right. If you want to make God laugh, tell him your plans for tomorrow. No thanks, guys. Keep your tricky, shady god. Regular mortal folks are a big enough pain in my ass. You just never know entirely what motherfuckers will get up to, and especially when you’re counting on them to act the same old way.

I guess though that balances with the relative strangers that step in and save your ass. Life is full of surprises and some of them are pretty fucking cool. You just never know.

The point is that this past week exposed something, perhaps a weakness. Maybe a weakness that can’t be shored up too. I don’t even know if it’s connected to old shit. Maybe it’s a normal reaction to seeing human roadkill. I really have no damn clue what’s normal. Just what’s normal for me, and that’s kind of funny, actually.