The recommendations from Indeed are generally pretty relevant despite that I am grossly overqualified for many of them. This wee surprise though came out of the blue on the wings of a WTF cargo plane laden with… well… what the fuck?

Here’s a job I never considered and I went with my first instinct and deleted the email. Then after a moment I went back and retrieved it in a pique of why the fuck not?

I mean, it would last a day if I even made it beyond training. Given my inability to bullshit people it might get as far as my first stab at the in-flight safety instructions which I imagine would be like this:

Look, the mask might save you if we lose cabin pressure, depending on how high we are. Beyond that anything that could happen on a plane at 30,000 feet is pretty fucking dire, so you’re really pretty well fucked if it even gets to the water. These seat cushions weren’t designed to keep a fat motherfucker afloat. So if it gets to the point where we need masks, consider yourself screwed.

Cheers!