Had to add ‘usually’ because apparently there’s a practice trending whereby people go outside and tan their assholes, or at least expose it to direct sunlight for a time. It’s supposed to be rejuvenating and energizing.
Taint tanning.
Butthole bronzing.
Um…
That aside, it’s that time of year again. I’m pretty certain it’s only in the moral void between Christmas and New Years where people send me the annual list of things people got stuck up their holes. Seems 2019 was a busy year for people violating their orifices. This is the full list:
While I’m not a big fan of Vice, generally speaking, they played this article well. Hats off to the author and hats off to the stupid (but imaginative) men, women and children for an impressive list. What I find most remarkable is the number of items that are decidedly not dick-shaped.
Slow clap for all of you. You’ve given ER staff something to talk about, because heart attacks, broken hips and gunshot wounds must get fucking dull after a while.
What rough beast 