Small Screen Quarantine: Blade Runner 2049

Hard to know where to begin with this one, actually. I waited roughly five years to see it. It has never once occurred to me since 1982 that Blade Runner needed or would benefit from a sequel. It never left any unanswered questions, or at least any that required an answer. Sure you could ask what ever became of Deckerd and Rachael, but if that bothered you all that much, then you probably weren’t paying attention. It never really mattered what became of them, or if one or both of them was a replicant, or anything really. The important questions were answered, or purposely left unanswered. What exactly is it that makes us human? Who gets to make the call? Etc.

I guess I’m saying, did Blade Runner 2049 need to be made. The answer for me would be, well, no… but most films don’t. Most sequels certainly don’t. But then you have to ask what your goals might be for a sequel. Was there a loose end that needed to be tied up? Is there still a story to be told? Would a sequel enhance the original and vice versa?

Did Blade Runner 2049 meet any of those criteria?

No. It didn’t. That said, it was by far not the worst movie I’ve ever seen. Far from the best either. Ryan Gosling was horrible. Or rather, the way they had him play the character was horrible. It was utterly 2-dimensional, and yes that was on purpose but it didn’t work. It was just bad. The rest of the cast… well… nothing spectacular. You don’t come to expect spectacular in big budget films anymore though. So… what?

I don’t know. The entire film was a visual treat, murky and strange. I did enjoy that, though that leaves me with something that’s all style and no substance. And there was no substance. None at all. It was sort of a Children of Men premise cross-pollenated with some of the original ideas of Blade Runner. It was ponderously long at just under three hours, but it was visually appealing though so it wasn’t horrible. Yet it said nothing.

It said nothing at all. It asked nothing. It left me with nothing. The original movie was groundbreaking for many different reasons. Yet nobody would miss 2049 had it never been made. That’s the worst part about it. The charade. The play at being intelligent sci-fi. There was just no reason at all to make it if they were going to say nothing.

Hey, Harrison Ford got paid though.

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