I mean… fucking hell! Really?

I sat in a discussion group today comprised of two dozen people, doing a comparison/analysis of two self help books by Carol Dweck and Martin Seligman, both falling into the ‘positive psychology’ camp.

Never mind the content of the books. Feel free to go read the synopses and reviews on Amazon. It’s all there. They don’t even matter to me really. Don’t ask me for my views on them.

The pivotal moment in the discussion for me was when two questions were posed.

How many of you consider yourselves pessimists?: A single hand.

How many of you consider yourselves optimists?: Twenty-one hands.

You’re probably thinking I’m crap at math, and you’d be right if you are, because I am. I’m pretty damn good with adding two digit numbers though. I was the one abstention. I don’t consider myself, by nature, either an optimist or a pessimist. Where I do excel is risk analysis, but that’s not the point. I abstained. Firstly, I don’t like one-or-the-other choices. The definitions get too narrow. Secondly, and more importantly, I do believe that one’s proclivities towards pessimism or optimism are largely circumstantial. Sure the habits are hard to break, even after circumstances improve, but you can read the book for that bit.

I am neither a pessimist nor an optimist. What I am is fucking stunned that the overwhelming majority of people in the group eagerly jumped into the optimism barrel. Maybe that’s why they were there in the first place? Maybe only an optimist gives enough of a fuck to read a self-help book anyway? Still, it came as a surprise. More than a surprise, I’m still rather taken aback. I would have given them equal odds and a 50-50 split. I’m not an active consumer of the self-help genre though. It’s not pessimism but more a lack of interest. I’ve chosen other means. When I do pick up a self-help book it’s more out of curiosity, like why is this book getting quoted all over social media? I usually read them with no intention of putting anything in them into practice.

Clearly I need to think about this more so in the meantime I’m going to park this idea here.

I’m also going to park another idea here for a spell. I have, at a hundred times in the past, declared that happiness in and of itself (but not the pursuit of happiness or proactive measures to end unhappiness) was overrated. I may have to concede that it’s not happiness that’s overrated but pleasure and the pursuit of pleasure. There’s a difference. I’ll be back to this.