There are so many better ways to address any subject and this is one probably better looked at through the lens of long-form storytelling, either fiction or memoir, so that the full picture is presented. My goal for 2020 anyway is to write a lot less about myself. It’s to be more outward-looking, as my life isn’t all that interesting anyway. Also, this is a hard topic to air out in a public forum because it’s too easy to misrepresent as misogyny, mansplaining or whatnot. There is no entry in my curriculum vitae that qualifies me to discuss women/sex/gender, and this is certainly not a 21 Convention nor an Incel forum.

Fuck those guys.

Really.

The interest here is really in understanding power dynamics and to some extent where my blind spots and vulnerabilities have come into play. The video below, and several others by Dr. Ramani, have been helpful to me in unpacking the revelations of analysis. She fairly accurately describes people I’ve been involved with in one way or another, parents, parental figures, people inadvertently used as parent figures, friends, lovers, etc. They were in some cases more nuanced than how she lays out, for example, considering the word idea of being obsessed with appearance. Being obsessed with appearance many not just involve physical traits. Hell, let’s just go to her words. I’m ready to move on.