Radio Quarantine – Best of 2019 Sovietwave Mix

There’s a vibe with this stuff. It’s like dialing in from outer space, a lost signal from both the past and the future at the same time. It’s alien. It’s the perfect soundtrack for unfamiliar times. The artists are entirely unfamiliar to me and I think I prefer it that way and I’ve made no effort to familiarize myself with any of them.

This is all cruising at night and the entire universe is black except for what can be seen in the headlights. There’s something up ahead but I’ll be damned if I know where I’m going. Somewhere not here. Not that here’s necessarily bad. Just time for something else and it’s not like it was my decision. There’s just something behind me pushing me forward. It feels okay.

It’s these extra weird times that I miss Natalie more than ever. She was possessed of something. She had a way about her, or maybe it was just about trusting her.

“The world is a big ol’ mess, Bigga, but you wouldn’t fit in if tings were in order. You the chaos muppet. You cool. Don’t worry yourself. Hush now.”

She was right.

It was an interesting thing between us, me and Natalie. There are very few people with whom I ever felt entirely at ease and could fully exhale. That it was entirely okay to just be me. We could get angry with each other. We could be fed up. We could have all the ups and down that two people could have, but we always knew it would be cool. Never had it before. Never had it since.

At least I know it’s possible. Knowing is a gift.

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