Fear & Pandemic Days

Here I go again, quoting out of context. Not quite an aphorism, any quote out of context can be taken in any old way but this says what it needs to say, despite anything it may have been connected to. Lovecraft knew how to not only convey but trigger fear. It wasn’t even so much what he created as the uncertainty that the creations may actually exist. We all believe that there are forces in The Universe capable of power beyond our dreams, both good and evil. If I’m to be honest, I’d say that either scares me equally. It’s beyond my agnosticism. It’s just uncertainty. Not enough to make me a believer but enough to tickle my imagination and give me chills from time to time.

The irony is that there are no certain outcomes in the world and that everything is uncertain. The next second is uncertain. Chew on that for a bit. You can play with odds and statistics to predict a likely scenario. Quantum computing can drill it down even further, but even there you have a margin of doubt. We all know this to be true.

That’s why all our movements are to some extent, driven by some degree of fear. To be truly in the moment, any moment, is to surrender any belief concern in a future. There are windows of weightlessness in that respect, in which any future is taken for granted. They happen.

So it’s funny that the fear has always been with us, and I’ve said it before that the only reason things seem so much worse now is that we were locked down with our thoughts for the first time. It has been for many of us the first time in our lives. That’s why we’ve witnessed such a concentration of extreme behavior. I say extreme only in the respect that much of it is natural reaction and not at all hyperbole. How else are we supposed to respond? COVID-19 is the only new addition to the mix. Everything else that’s messed up has been there all along. These are the responses we should have been expected to have ages ago in the face of so much uncertainty.

One day, maybe, there will be a movement of consciousness in which rather than declarations of specious truth, people will begin to admit how much they don’t know. Or at least admit to how fearful they are and what they are afraid of. Great weight would be lifted from all our interactions. We wouldn’t all be trying to force our way through the will, by strength of will. All our fear instincts anyway were not made for situations where our immediate mortality isn’t at stake. Not that we don’t ever face dire consequences for our actions or inactions. COVID-19 is definitely dangerous. Mostly though our instincts our out of proportion to the threats in our lives. We’re a mess.

I’m not above it all. Quite the contrary, I may be the biggest mess of all, but I can see it. There are advantages in that respect.

Anyway… random thoughts this morning.

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