Radio Quarantine – Motorama: Alps (2010)

This was another that I missed entirely back in the day, somewhere in 2010. My head must’ve been in another place, and we never got many Russian pop music exports back then anyway. Maybe if it fit into whatever was hot in the domestic markets but post-punk just wasn’t big up the list if memory serves. The comparisons here, probably because of the quasi baritone vocals is Joy Division but they’re a lot more melodic than that and the lyrics are almost pastoral… country houses and fields and the like. Yes, the lyrics are in English, which also sets it apart from a lot of what I’ve been listening to lately. I heard it for the first time yesterday, and I’ve already listened to it 3+ times, so let’s just say it made an impression.

It’s a weird mid-winter sound, like sitting at a frozen window remembering the spring. Maybe a very long ago spring. I can’t really think of another way to describe it. This isn’t a review. I don’t do reviews. It’s just an entry in a musical scrapbook really. That’s what the whole Radio Quarantine is, for me anyway. It’s the best way I can find to record these Covid months. These lockdown months. These limited months. These months that haven’t looked anything like any of us would have ever expected that they would.

Life can be funny. Feelings can be curious beasties. I’ve been so restless and a little bit lonely, and that probably accounts for the sort of hauntological nature of my music choices/explorations. My longing for a future that never came to be… My expectations for what life may look like, not just this year but the whole fucking thing. The irony is that the loneliness dissipated at 7 this morning when I cancelled a sort of date for today. You can’t throw your force of will at any damn thing, and I couldn’t make myself want company. There was no ‘fake it until you make it’ that was going to fix my head and make it happen. Wasn’t fair to her and it wasn’t fair to me either. It had nothing to do with her specifically. Were there anyone that I would have wanted to be with… wait no… You see where that sentence is heading and it wouldn’t have been true. The person I would have wanted to be with isn’t here anymore, and maybe that’s the problem. Maybe it’s situations never properly mourned for? I don’t know. Anyway, it wouldn’t have been fair, and it would have made me feel much worse too.

Feelings are such strange animals.

And in my case, they always get a soundtrack. Today it’s Motorama.

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