Minsk must have an interesting nightlife, given the Coldwave coming out of Belarus. Nürnberg is just my latest YouTube find on this Post-punk, Post-Soviet journey. Coldwave for the cold wave here in New York City. It’s crisp out there this morning, almost brittle and that’s the mood today. Brittle. it will pass. It’s not so much my mood either, but my sense of connection to where I am this morning and what I’ve got to do today. It’s a sort of cabin fever. Not a wanderlust but a cabin fever. There is nowhere to go but no desire to be here doing this. It’s a sense of distance this morning from my own day-to-day. It’s a distance, and that’s what Skryvaj communicates. It’s a morbid kind of far off thing. It’s… who the hell knows what it is? The lyrics are in Russian. It could be fucking love songs, but I don’t think so. It sounds more like just being done with love.
I could/should probably get the lyrics an run them through Google translate, but I prefer to feel it as I feel it. I know that skryvaj means secret or stealth. That says a lot right there. What is the secret?
Yesterday was sort of a bust. It wasn’t necessarily a bad day. Nothing happened. I did nothing and I’m feeling some kind of way about that. It was probably exactly the sort of day that was needed, just sitting in bed watching Korean crime shows. There have to be quiet days. There should be days of immobility and… well, not reflection. There should be days to stop thinking and reflect on nothing at all and thats what yesterday was. It still left me with a list of chores that still need to be done, all the maintenance things like cleaning and laundry. Another day or so doesn’t really matter. It feels this morning like it matters though and that’s a bit of a problem. Not a crisis but a problem.
This is also a day when words aren’t coming so it’s probably better to just let the music play on. Share that and nothing else. There is no catharsis in this exercise today. It’s just moving my fingers and watching words come out.
I’m coming up on an anniversary this month also and it feels like something should be said about that, but perhaps later.