Back in Norway? Well, after a manner of speaking, yes, but the reality is pulling out of New Jersey before 6am, holding onto whatever spiritual fuel I could accumulate to move me through a new week. RANCHO RELAXO is part of the mix again. It would make good driving music actually. Good interstate cruising energy there. Nothing too strange or frenetic. Just a sweet kinesthesia. We’re moving.

Still thinking about the film short. “It creeps back in, but i don’t know what it is.” That’s the whole thing. It’s more this unsettled vibe. Something is not right. We all lost something and it may not even be that each of us as an individual lost something, but as a group we have definitely lost the plot. You’d think that the loss of 3/4 of a million souls in the U.S. alone would have given pause to the tide of hate and lies, but… nah, that didn’t happen. Like a real tide, it’s got it’s own momentum now. It’s got it’s own gravitational pull.

I’m not saying that this is specifically what it is that nobody seems to be able to put a finger on or find words for, but it seems like part of it. We’ve lost the script, even if it was all bullshit to begin with. It had a pretense that we were all in this together.

Now?

Well, I don’t have to carry on about that. You have your own eyes and ears. You have your own feelings. We’re all grown-ups. Sort of.

I’ll sort out this feeling eventually, or not. There isn’t really time to sit and dwell on it though. There are expectations that everyone just get up and pretend that none of it ever happened. The sitting governor of New York, who is in office really only because her predecessor was asked repeatedly to leave because he couldn’t keep his hands to himself, has intimated that they have discussed back to the office mandates for companies here in the city. Like we didn’t already know that Albany is in the pocket of commercial real estate holders. I believe that at some point all the officials across the country who most strongly supported quarantine and lockdowns are all going to start sounding like the Red State cretins. Get over yourselves. It’s a scam. Get back to work. You’re lazy and selfish and self-entitled. Get back to it. It’s your duty as a citizen of the greatest country in the world. Blah blah blah.

Let’s all pretend it never really happened and when we’re all back at work we can pat each other on our backs and play brave little soldier acts for each other. Then we can go home, sleep, and wake up the next morning with the heebie jeebies that we won’t talk about to others because it’s not in the new script, which is just the old script flipped. Get it?

I dont know. I’m just rambling, but I don’t think that anyone feels right. Even the anti-maskers and anti-vaxxers are carrying on mostly because they are terrified that we are powerless.

And we are powerless, but we always have been so.

So…

Turn the music up and hit the gas. Forget the brake pedal for the day. You won’t need it if you only tell yourself loud enough and enough times that you won’t need it. There is a benevolent Santa Claus that will look out for us because we are good and fair and kind and just and born in the right country.

Ho ho ho, motherfucker.