Sometimes it feels like Youtube is more than just an algorithm based on previous listening and searches and that it actually understands me more than a lot of people in my life. Makes me wish that more humans actually listened, but…

But…

Anyway, it’s Tuesday. Monday’s ugly, younger stepsister. Good morning, Tuesday. Good morning to you. How are you?

Oh, that’s nice.

So yah, dialing in from Minneapolis with haloblack and this is a new one for me because my head was in an entirely different space in 1996. Looking back now, it wasn’t a good space. Not musically speaking anyway. I was trying on a new costume back then and it never exactly fit. Get the picture? Maybe not, but let’s just say that I was trying to fit into a space that never quite fit me or cared if I was there anyway.

I like haloblack’s persistent, insistent, mechanical, industrial grind. I hear the machine. Yes, I hear the machine.

I was about to ask myself if I might be around 25 years from now looking back on today, on November 23, 2021, as a time when I was trying on something that didn’t fit. Then it occurred to me that there will most likely be no 25 years from now. Not for me. That’s not a morbid thought in my book. It’s just a statement of probability. It’s a matter of fact, and the truth here is actually quite liberating. Can’t worry today about a worry you might have in a future that probably isn’t going to happen. It’s kind of funny, really.

But… that thought has just gotten more time this morning than it merits. It’s time to get about the business of pretending that everything is okay. I’ve given more consideration to the film short and there may not be an answer for me. Things have never felt quite right for me on the inside so anything new that might have skulked in is just going to get swept up in the momentum of the other anxieties. In that regard, to my perception, there is nothing new under the sun. Same as it ever was.

Same… as… it… ever… was.