I had that dream again last night. That one where everything really hit the fan and we were all just about to die. All of us. The whole world. Nothing left. Except maybe cockroaches. They still say the cockroaches might live through “the big one.” Who knows? Someone suggested once we catch cockroaches and put them in the microwave and see. That seemed like an exceptionally horrible idea to me. It seemed like an idea guaranteed to bring exceptionally horrible karma. You know the ideas that I mean. The ones drawn from the worst instincts. Those. No, I’ll leave all that alone if you don’t mind. I don’t need to find out what kills what. That’s not really what I’m here for.
I wouldn’t call the dream a nightmare. It wasn’t about terror, or even dread. It was about the knowledge that it was imminent and there was nothing that could be done. It was about being sad. It was about acceptance. We’re all going and probably at the same time, so it’s not like anyone will even have a moment to experience grief. Nobody to mourn. Nobody to miss. Just all gone at the same time. The dream has come before. Just not in a while. No clue what it’s about.
It’s not about Luke Vibert though. I’m pretty certain about that. But since every day has a soundtrack, I figure you may as well get some good music in before we go.
There’s a hilarious irony too that just in case we don’t all blaze out right away, I still have to go to work this morning. It will be the first time back in the office in a couple weeks. Since Covid-19. Well, Covid-19 is still here. I mean since I went and got it. It seems mostly gone now though. The tests all show negative. There may or may not be some lingering symptoms. A headache that doesn’t seem to want to go away, for nearly a week now. Some chest scratchiness. Exhaustion. That exhaustion could just be emotional stress. I can’t say that the first positive test didn’t bring about a wave of dread. You just don’t know how bad it’s going to be. Maybe it’s the same with every ailment but the other ailments didn’t get hyped like this one. Nobody talks about dying from a flu, and for a long time that’s all we heard about Covid-19. And I knew enough people to know it was a legitimate concern. So when I got those double bars on the test strip it was strange. It was a serious oh fuck me sideways moment, like, just how fucking bad is this going to get?
As it turns out it wasn’t the worst I’ve ever had. It was no joke but it wasn’t the worst. The thing that sucks is knowing that there is no permanent immunity. Another strain could come along and fuck me up all over again. No fun…
Anyway… just random shit today. Enjoy the music. I’m going to wash up and move.