A fresh mix up just yesterday from this Mix Curator person. Seems perfect for the mood. Kind of not 100 percent present but still burning the present. It’s a weird one.
I said yesterday, “Everyone wants to be seen until they’re seen.” Several people have asked me what it means and I’ve offered no response or explanation yet. Why not right here? All I’m saying is that so many people will say that they want to be seen for who they really are and not have to act out the expectations of others. They want to be seen and accepted as they really are… if they really know who or what that is anyway. A lot of people have spent so much time manufacturing the avatar that they put out in the world that they forget that it’s a put-on. I still catch myself in that trap so this isn’t an indictment. I’m just saying it aloud, you know?
So people say they want to be able to let down their guard with someone and be who they are. I believe they mean it when they say it, but as soon as it happens many of them get all weird about it. They get frightened and squirrelly like they’ve looked down and seen that some mysterious stranger on a rooftop somewhere has locked a laser sight on them. You can see them squirm, looking for the nearest table or counter to dive under. Then they get angry at the person who “sees” them and get resentful and avoid them.
So yes, everyone wants to be seen until they’re seen. Then they’re in the open and vulnerable and often are simply not ready for it. They have to start questioning exactly what the person seeing them is actually seeing or what they’re focused on. Fear is a fucked up disease and there is no complete immunity.
But this is about the music, right? This is about the beats. Here are your beats. You can take the words with a grain of salt. I mean, after all, who the fuck am I to be imparting some “great truth.” You can call me out. I don’t know everything. I’m just putting shit out into The Universe that seems true. Maybe it’s only true for me. But I do want to be seen. The weight of the things I’ve used to conceal myself is driving me to an early grave.