What You Try to Control, Controls You | The Paradox of Control

The things we try hardest to control become our greatest source of suffering… I can find nothing but truth in this statement when measured against my lifetime. My aching for personal security, or status, or success, have all just become aching.

Looks like I should have delved into The Stoics at a much earlier age, and taken their words to heart. Like Seneca said, we suffer much more in our imagination than in reality. Where was Seneca when I was young? He was probably buried beneath a zillion self-help books that spoke of “manifesting your dreams!” All that business that one can do whatever they set their minds to, no matter how impossible it seems. True that if you don’t try something you will get less than nothing, but outcomes are rarely what we plan when we take an action.

Anyway… this is an interesting affirmation of everything I’ve learned in recovery. Mostly that all I was ever trying to do was control my personal emotional climate. Don’t like these feelings? Drown them. Medicate them. Erase them. Don’t take action against the source of the feelings, the sense of helplessness etc. Eradicate the feelings because you already feel out of control, because you don’t dictate the outcomes. Interesting video indeed.

I’ll throw in a bonus video also:

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