I tinkered for a while with the pyramid, or hierarchy, of primary fears from my last post. While it would have interested me to see how other people ranked their fears, what I really wanted was an idea of where I stand in relation to perhaps a norm. I accepted after no small amount of reflection and re-sorting the standings that the pyramid is a fair if not accurate reflection of my own triggers, at least as they are explained in the accompanying article.

The journey from there, of course, is digging back into the experiences that deposited the out-sized and over-sized fears seemingly into my DNA. This has been my trek for quite some time though, through traditional talk therapy, CBT and psychoanalysis. Lay it all out on the table, categorize and identify and name the events and their corresponding, ongoing responses. Try to suss out why they still hold power over us. Let them go. That’s the goal, right? So how does this last part happen? How do you do it? Does simply talking them out work, or is there a mechanical process that can move it all forward leaving the past in the past?

This morning I read about Biodynamic Breathing & Trauma Release, or BBTR. You can read the entire article here: https://wordpress.com/read/feeds/93934096/posts/2347081783

The article explains the purpose and practice better than I can but it’s a good read. You can also get an explanation from a practitioner here:

People who have known me for a while might find it curious that I’m willing to entertain the “woo-woo” angle to all this. I could be described as either a stoic, or a depressive or a lunatic, depending on who you ask, but where I used to be an adherent to the School of Man Up & Get Over It, my newer creed might be Man Up & Do Something About It. I’m willing to see what I can do with the time I have left on this rock, but ending it all on a high is going to require shedding a lot more of the weight that remains. It will also require, because day to day life and its inherent stresses continues, not being a magnet for more weight. There is something in the idea of a physical or mechanical process to do this that appeals to me. It could be that it feels more proactive than lying on a couch which I’ve done for years. It makes more sense to me as I’m absolutely an adherent to the idea that many of our physical ailments are manifestations of the mental, emotional and spiritual.

Simply, my goal is to be closer to weightless, not just for me, but to leave less of a footprint on the rest of the world. Just as sitting on a made bed leaves an impression, we leave evidence of our presence on others. That doesn’t work for me.

And I want to move closer to weightlessness, just for me.

Just for me.