Aaaand then there are things that exist in this world for no other reason than for cheap laughs and that’s okay. Real life is just jacked up enough most days to set some times aside to jack off, literally or figuratively.
Nut up or shut up, but take some time to tune out. Make time to enjoy the little things.
You need to kill some time during lockdown? Of course you do. Why not go through this partial list of rules that Columbus made to survive Zombieland and see which ones apply to your day to day life before and after COVIDland.
- Cardio
- The Double Tap
- Beware of Bathrooms
- Wear Seat Belts
- No Attachments
- The “Skillet”
- Travel Light
- Get a Kick Ass Partner
- With your Bare Hands
- Don’t Swing Low
- Use Your Foot
- Bounty Paper Towels
- Shake it Off
- Always carry a change of underwear
- Bowling Ball
- Opportunity Knocks
- Don’t be a hero (later crossed out to be a hero)
- Limber Up
- Break it Up
- It’s a marathon, not a sprint, unless it’s a sprint, then sprint
- Avoid Strip Clubs
- When in doubt Know your way out
- Ziplock
- Use your thumbs
- Shoot First
- A little sun screen never hurt anybody
- Incoming!
- Double-Knot your Shoes
- The Buddy System
- Pack your stain stick
- Check the back seat
- Enjoy the little things
- Swiss army Knife
My take is that most of them will apply at some point or another in my own life, but the decision on which applies to which situations usually doesn’t need to be made as quickly as in Zombieland. “Nut up or shut up” will get you through most situations, because being an adult means that you’re rarely the one making the rules, and “Double Tap” is always a sound strategy.
Always.
What rough beast 