Change rarely occurs without some novel, cataclysmic event. There is disruption. There is often chaos. Change most often requires that something is broken beyond mending. That’s the truth. It’s not an argument. Don’t bother trying to change my mind.

Change is rarely a bad thing. If the existing state was adequate then the cataclysmic event wouldn’t have had much impact. Anything is only adequate for a set of existing preconditions. Add something new to the mix, and it doesn’t even necessarily have to be a bad thing like a storm or an earthquake or a fucking death comet, and you find your inadequacy.

Change is something I said several times over the recent months was necessary and on the way, so there are no surprises. Yet the outcome is still a mystery, so… I’m not sure yet what’s happening but something is happening. This isn’t a cryptic message. I’m just saying that something is happening and I don’t know what it is yet. I’m saying that there is uncertainty. I woke up this morning with a sense of foreboding, or rather that I’ve felt unsettled over the course of the last week and this morning a sense of foreboding has manifested. I’ve spent the last couple hours trying to find an apt soundtrack to suit the emotion and this finally came up. I don’t know much about ORPHX but they seem to have known something about me.

They seem to have foreseen this state of broken-ness.

It bears repeating that this is not necessarily a feeling that something horrible is about to happen, though that’s a possibility. It’s always a possibility. It’s just as likely though mathematically that it could be something good. Either way something is going to get broken before there is a resolved outcome.

I just don’t know.

I only know the state of uncertainty. It could be the pandemic. It could be the state of geo-political affairs. It could be something job related as you never know how all this shit is going to impact the economy. It could just be the weather forecast with this big storm (Henri) bearing down on the Northeast. Or… it could be any number of positive things that though positive will drive changes in my personal life, which frankly could use some changing. Any way you look at it there is shit in motion and there is no immediate answer so let’s just say we’ll get there when we get there.

Uncertain.

Unsettled.

Curious.

Still worried even knowing that there is a likelihood that there is nothing at all to worry about. It’s just how my brain works. But change happens when something gets broken.