The line in Russian in the title translates roughly to “When will that “good” come?” which corresponds loosely to “When does the good part start?” Having posted about 20 of this person’s video compilations it’s easy enough to find the pattern of darkness and sarcasm, but of course he can’t see the good he’s done for me with the music and photos. I appreciate him, for what it’s worth. Perhaps a thank you note is in order.

This photo appeals to me. There’s a kind of identification with the shabby loneliness. For the record, I used to resent loneliness and though there can still be some bad days, there is a kind of poetry and beauty in being lonely. It doesn’t scare me anymore. There is a deep sense of peace in the solitude and isolation. The voices in my head don’t thunder down on me anymore when I’m alone. They’re mostly quiet, except for those odd days. It’s never nearly as peaceful when I’m in the company of other people. That’s when my insecurity and anxiety wake up. That’s something to work on, but in the meantime I know where to find peace when I need it.

It would be nice to spend this day alone. I awakened two hours before the alarm in a degree of psychic and physical discomfort. The world has been very peopley for me these last few weeks. A quiet withdrawal would be welcome, some time to myself where reacclimating to company would be a slow process. That’s not doable right now though, so it’s up and off into the walky and talky world of humans. What was it that Buster Keaton said about people chattering like monkeys? That’s how it feels sometimes, like I’m surrounded by monkeys. Don’t get me wrong. I love monkeys, but they can be an awful lot some days.

00:00 Сруб – Бесы 03:50 мёртвые сны, нервные кегли – я давно убит 06:28 Дурной вкус – Думаешь ты 09:20 PERMSKY KRAY – Пепси-Кола 12:10 Лензвук – Глупые белые люди 17:20 Улица Восток – Запомню 20:25 конец солнечных дней – юность 22:51 Proshay – Встретимся еще 26:05 Из окон заброшек – Первый снег 30:12 спящая кладовая – моя родная басинка

I should remember to add the playlists. Not that I read Russian, but someone who happens upon this may, and then I’ve always got the timestamps for my own convenience.

Anyway… for now.