Small Screen Quarantine – Last Days of American Crime (2020)

Michael Pitt isn’t the star but he’s the only person in the cast that even made a stab at anything resembling acting, and I liked the photo, so…

I wasn’t even going to say anything about this Netflix snoozer, but then I saw this headline:

Netflix’s ‘The Last Days of American Crime’ Earns Rare 0% Critics Score on Rotten Tomatoes

Now, the star rating, or lack of stars is probably right, but I’ll tell you what. LDOAC is better than Extraction by leaps and bounds, and Extraction got some positive reviews.

Secondly, half the reviews I’ve read open with the question of timing, releasing LDOAC during the sometimes violent upheaval going on right now in the wake of the George Floyd murder. They call it tone deaf.

Tone deaf…

Going to float that out there and let is hang for a moment, and then I’m going to call bullshit on anybody who tries to make any connection. If we waited for cops to stop killing unarmed black men before releasing any more violent/crime films that would pretty much be the end of the film industry for quite a while. Also, the real stuff out in the real world has been going on unchecked for generations and I think it’s more crass to release nonsense like romantic comedies while the world is in turmoil than pretty much anything.

Actually most romantic comedies are utter piss and should be outlawed.

It’s just not that horrible a movie, and I will claim authority on this because I’ve just spent three months watching some complete trash. It is bad. The dialogue sounds sometimes like it was written by an ESL student. Anna Brewster was a mannequin. Edgar Ramirez may or may not be a good actor but with a crap script nobody is going to shine. Michael Pitt, on the other hand, was very entertaining but seemed to be camping up his character as he went and in a way that seemingly had nothing to do with the evolution of the plot. The plot was actually pretty good. You can check it out in the link above.

It just wasn’t all that bad and with all the other shit out there and a century of film to go by, calling it one of the worst films of all time is… well, it’s lazy. It’s just fucking lazy. Stop it. I’ve seen so many movies, and stopped watching scores, just because they had no reason to exist. Take the entire FAST & FURIOUS franchise, for example. What, are there fifteen of them now? They suck. No reason to exist. It’s like getting together with a friend to play Grand Theft Auto but you’re too drunk to play so you just watch him and shout at the screen.

All these bad reviews just seem to me like a bunch of dopey film critics feeling a little insecure and irrelevant so they get on a Zoom conference and decide collectively that they will make some pretense at having discriminating taste.

Shut up.

You don’t.

You rave about and promote garbage, and some of the stuff you like is jingoistic, dangerous garbage. Don’t pretend now that you have a social conscience. Linking this particular movie to any social unrest now is as fucking stupid as saying that it would all go away if we watched a MY LITTLE PONY marathon. There is zero correlation. No victim of police brutality nor their family is sitting around with hurt feelings about a movie that has zero resemblance to the problems they face. None. Zilch.

And seriously, Last Days of American Crime looks like a masterpiece next to Extraction.

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