THE MOUNT FUJI DOOMJAZZ CORPORATION is a side project, apparently, of The Kilamanjaro Darkjazz Ensemble, and guess what. They are neither Japanese, nor Tanzanian. They are apparently just Dutch people with a bent for morbid sounds that don’t really equate to any traditional jazz. Not that I’m familiar with anyway. This isn’t mood music today. Not necessarily. It’s an awful lot more dark than I feel. It actually sounds like a 70s horror movie soundtrack. I’m just waiting for Christopher Lee to show up in a long, black cape. It’s really kind of got me in the mood for 70s horror cheese, so thank goodness for Amazon (much better than Netflix for older films).

I am off to a rather slow start today but it doesn’t make much of a difference. There’s no place to be at any given time. That’s the best way to start any day, in my opinion. Even, and maybe especially a 59th birthday. It is really just another day and I mention it only because people are already insisting, as they do every year, that I’m engaging in some kind of self-deprivation by not giving it more weight. There are people who are convinced that I’m not being authentic about it and it doesn’t matter how much I insist that I’d prefer not to make a big deal. Fuck it man! If you trust that I am sincere 364 days a year, trust that you can give me a smile and a nod on the 365th and let it go.

That’s my rant for the day. Thanks for listening.

I will, at some point soon, drag myself into the shower and scrub off the remnants of yesterday so I can begin today properly. There is a walkabout in my near future. I’ve got a craving for a big, asteroid-sized, bar-style burger and steak fries. That’s a rare craving (no pun intended). Burgers don’t really excite me so it must be some iron/red meat thing. Or perhaps just nostalgia. Who knows? There is a wander in my future though. I need a change of scenery.

Then I’m going to come home and spend some money on Amazon. I’ve spent so much more time around my bedroom in recent months it occurred to me the whole time could have been a lot more comfortable had I ever paid attention to making it more comfortable and pleasant to the eye. It’s yet another situation where I ignored such things pretending the whole ordeal was only temporary so it didn’t make sense to be too comfortable.

Always the wrong way of thinking. Trust me on that one. It’s just a bad habit. This was supposed to be less than a year and it’s nearly five. My last place was supposed to be a year or two and it was six. Making your surroundings comfortable and pleasing is a form of self-care, and it’s a form I continually ignore and suffer the consequences, which generally manifest in a low level anxiety. There’s no reason for it at all. I’m not even talking about major purchases like furniture. Just odds and ends.

And I’m going to listen to more doom jazz and dark jazz and dark techno and other dark shit, because I can.